Now, a short meme stolen from azmatazz :
Current clothes: pretty mid weight PJs
Current mood: tired and wishing for dessert
Current music: Keating! The Musical.
Current annoyance: marking pile not ever shrinking
Current thing: Thing? I'm desperately waiting on the rest of the Shanna Swendson series I ordered from Amazon.
Current desktop picture: Mac pictures of pebbles in water - it is peaceful
Current book: Four Queens: A book about the Provencal sisters in the 14th C
Current Song in Head: Total Eclipse of My Heart Bonnie Tyler. *shrugs*
Current DVD in player: Current watching is two weeks ago of House!
Current refreshment: Hanging out for dessert
Current worry: can I really work the hours I have agreed to work without going nuts?
Current thought: I hope I don't throw up again tonight.
Ok so I see an offer for a full-time lecturing job at the University I already work for. I already do everything, apart from attend meetings (one of the true blessings of casual employment!) that they want so I figure I am at least assured an interview. The problem is it is at least 12 months earlier than I would like to be looking for fulltime lecturing. My youngest is 18 months. I would like him to be 2 turning 3 at minimum before I went back to work full time. But there is a possibility of negotiating physically part time at Uni for the teaching and meeting part and at home for everything else so I will apply.
Then I had a truly shite class yesterday afternoon - unruly, disruptive brats they were. That was a painful 2 hours, immediately followed by a boring complex one hour lecture(on another topic - cant help it's boring its a dry area), followed immediately after by another 2 hour tutorial on another area of tax law (that is 3 topics in 5 hours non-stop). As I drove home (after 9PM!! for 45 mins) I thought about whether I really want to do this for a living at all anymore let alone full time.
Then this morning I am supposed to meet some other mothers at a playground - they asked me as day co-ordinator to organise it (even though is school holidays) so I did. None of them turned up. None. How charming. I also discovered the other day that they deliberately hid my eldest son's favourite toys at the playgroup centre. There was no accidental - fell behind the shelf thing - both toys were up on the top shelf (I needed a crate to see) and under something else. The toys are 2 trucks and make a bit of noise as he pushes them - but he loves the toys. How mean to take toys away from a 3 year old! I am thinking of dropping the whole thing!
So I am kinda thinking none of my life is working well right now!!! My life is trying to tell me something isn't it?
Sigh. Took another couple of wounds in the mummy wars yesterday - and the day before that. Playgroups can be dangerous places in the mummy wars. I cop flack for the way I manage my work family balance.
After I had my first we made a decision that I would only work on a casual part time basis. This would enable me to stay at home with my child (now children) and maintain career continuity. The latter serves three main purposes:
1) insurance if my husband should lose his job and be unable to find another or one high paying enough to service a gigantic mortgage then I could step back into a high paying career.
2) Gives me valid adult time where I can keep in touch with aspects of the real world, socialise with adults and go to the toilet on my own occasionally (of course if you subscribe to the theory that children should be your everything then this will hold no weight for you
3) Uh I went to university for ten years - I teach tax law in a jurisdiction that changes tax law every year I snooze I lose. If I were to drop out entirely within 3 years I would need to completely retrain in another field because my tax knowledge would be too out of date. yes that would be a sound investment.
On the family side this means my children have me mainly at home with them. We go to playgroups, we shop together we do chores together and we play and hang together. This meant I was able to breast feed both until they chose to stop (earlier than I had planned!)
But people see the fact that I have a nanny 12 hours a week plus one day of daycare as though I am lolling about doing nothing but watching soaps or getting my nails done. I actually have my work station in the playroom. This means that I prepare for tutorials, write lectures, answer student enquiries, mark papers, prepare exams, update or write modules all with my children running around me. Yes someone else is playing with them and giving them food but who do you think the children come to when they fall over? Yes that is right - me!!! I hear everything going on and I still interact. If I am not actually in a classroom teaching all my other professional life is still with my children! Both my workplaces have offices which I can use but I am at home still with my children.
Yes a nanny is not cheap but my husband travels and I often work evenings. Who else will put my children to bed? My dead mother? My mother-in-law with an ailing (second) husband in another state?
I refuse to judge other mothers and the decisions they make. Each to their own. But how dare anyway judge my decisions and call me lacking in maternal love?
We made a decision which requires delicate balancing of competing demands. I am often stressed to the max and frequently work insanely. (I recently did a five day intensive training course in a city 80 kms away, worked 2 of those evenings, wrote a 3000 word technical paper, and marked 80 odd papers on superannuation). That is just what happens sometimes.
Anyway vent over. Please go back to reading fanfic!
No no not the band! Life's commitments. How come I have so many? Where do they come from? What happened to saying no? Why do I agree to do things I don't want to do? Why?
Sigh. I have too much on my plate and not enough time to read fanfic. Life is most unfair.
Ok. There was nothing to this other than a vague need to whine. Also...if anyone knows why commitments follow me around like a lost puppy do let me know.
Thank you azmatazz , for a meme to use on a Friday night! Yes I am boooring.
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 56.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next seven sentences in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't dig for your favourite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.
6. Tag five other people to do the same. I tag... anyone out there?
1. Principles of Taxation Law (the request is for the closest!!!) Coleman, Hart et al.
Their dissent was upheld by the Privy Council on the grounds that the sole cause of the payments was the taxpayer's carrying on a business and there was no personal relationship between the Australian government and the recipients.
Where an employer makes a gift to all employees at Christmas time this will be income as there will be no personal element involved...
Actually I will stop there on the basis everyone has gone to sleep.
There that will teach people to say grab the closest book!
No time no time!
I feel like the White rabbit in Alice in Wonderland.
So much to do so little time!
I need to prepare for a lecture and yet cannot.
No time no time!
How does one get more time?
I want to write - I have plot bunnies gnawing away at me. Yet I cannot.
My little toddler is keeping me a-hopping.
No time no time!
Tired tired tired. And this is only first week back at work. Lecturing looks ok. New toy works well. New tutorials? Hmmm. First one were pretty apathetic. Second one much more engaged. Third one - not even there!!! Hard not to feel rejected but just a misallocation.
Ok looking for inspiration to finish some fanfic. Hmmm. Any thoughts???
Oooooh my I have myself a brand new puter of my`very own. boy its hard to type on laptops these days! Hopefully it will mean I can write when the muse strikes a little more often. Subject of course to the usual small person problems.
Well I must say this is good stuff!
I am sure with practice I will get my typing back up to speed again so that plot bunnies aren't accidentally killed by slow death typing or even typos.
Totally gakked from gileswench who gakked it from malnpudl who gakked it from willows mom
Q. Geekiest part of your music collection?
A: Define geeky – maybe my Andrew Lloyd Webber stuff?
Q: What do you eat when you raid the fridge at night?
A: I aim for chocolate but otherwise whatever I can find
Q: What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?
A: Terms of Endearment and Steel Magnolias
Q: What's a weird thing that you do everyday?
A: Everyday? Probably talk to Ryan like its intelligent conversation while out shopping
Q: Do you have a completely irrational fear?
A: I have several, but balloons are the one that causes the most people to laugh.
Q: What is a physical habit that gives away your insecurities?
A: Drinking alcohol count?.
Q: Do you know anyone famous?
A: All my friends… ummm no.
Q: Do you know how to play poker?
Q: What do you carry with you at all times?
A: A dummy, hearing aid batteries, face powder and lippy
Q: What do you miss most about being little?
A: Still am… oh about not being a grown up… lack of responsibility!
Q: Are you happy with your given name?
A: Yes, it's a good one. ;-)
Q: How much money would it take to give up the internet?
A: (laughs hysterically, rocks in corner)
Q: What colour is your bedroom?
A: Cream and pale mushroom.
Q: What was the last song you listened to?
A:Watching You Rogue TrADERS
Q: Have you ever been in a play?
A: Yes, Cinderella.
Q: Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
Q: Do transient, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you?
A: Only if they're agressive, and then I'm more annoyed at a society that leaves these people out on the street than at the homeless themselves.
Q: Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
Q: What's one thing you wish you could do but can't?
A: Look good in any clothes
Q: What's one instrument you wish you could play?
Q: What's something you love and hate?
A: Writing. When the muse is kind, it's awesome and feels like I'm taking dictation. When the muse is MIA, it's beyond frustrating.
Q: What kind of bedding do you use?
A: ATM 270 thread cotton sheets and a cotton throw – nada else is hot!
Q: What’s one language you want to learn?
Q: What do you order at a bar?
A: Bar drinking as opposed to home or party drinking – cocktail menu baby – and if its an Aussie pub – light on tap .
Q: Have you ever pierced your body parts?
A: Only my ears.
Q: Do you have any tattoos?
Q: Would you admit to getting plastic surgery if confronted?
A: Ok everyone – I have had plastic surgery – I had a rather ginormous cyst removed from face AND a mole
Q: Do you drive stick?
A: Umm is this an orientation question – then yes. If cars – then no.
Q: What's one trait you hate in a person?
Q: What kind of watch do you wear?
A: The one I kind find and is toddler proof
Q: Do you consider yourself materialistic?
A: I sing Material Girl as I shop…
Q: What do you cook best?
A: Good honest food from a jar…
Q: Favourite writing instrument?
A: My computer keyboard. Even I have trouble reading my handwriting sometimes.
Q: Do you prefer to blend in or stand out?
A: Depends on where – at an airport blend in! At a party stand out
Q: What is one car you will never buy?
A: Anything Made in Korea
Q: What kind of books do you like to read?
A: Yes. I read a little bit of almost everything.
Q: If you won the lottery, what would you do?
A: Buy a tiny apartment in Sydney that’s all it would buy right
Q: Burial or cremation?
A: Cremation. Then I want to be dumped in a nice garden and hope my black thumb doesn't continue into death.
Q: What's one thing you are a sore loser at?
Q: Do you cry in front of your friends?
A: If I'm going to cry, I'm going to cry and I can't stop myself. It doesn't matter if it's friends, enemies, or total strangers.
Q: What kind of first impression do you think you give people?
Q: What's one thing you like to do alone?
A: Surf the internet.
Q: Are you a giver or a taker?
Q: How many drinks before you're tipsy?
A: Sadly about two standard drinks now
Q: Do you ever have to beg?
A: Yeah Can I PLEASE Have ANOTHER pair of Black Shoes?
Q: Do you think you're cute?
A: I'm fuc..ing adorable.
Q: Favourite communication method?
A: Words, both verbal and written.